microwavepizzaoven:

on the last day of school i’m going to walk out pouring a 40 on the ground yelling “this is for my fallen homies”

boywithoutbeard:

who wants to make me mac and cheese then ride my d*ck

Good handjob tips:

1. Put your mouth on it.

fuckzach:

its funny because people think im quiet

but im just listening to everyones conversations

and figuring out your weaknesses

and ill use them against you to get further in life

because i hate everyone

commanderinqueef:

suck my penis and tell me it’ll be okay

Internet ain’t workin, time to start twerkin~

cybergay:

as she looks me in the eyes waiting for her moment of approval, i am stricken by one final decision.  i look over her outfit, top to bottom, bottom to top, as a feeling of emptiness overcomes my body.  ”i am so sorry,” i say, “but i only like girls that wear abercrombie and fitch”.  

yufeelme:

don’t trust anyone with a strong negative opinion on rap music

cybergay:

i wasnt invited so i came to see why i wasnt invited